Fool's Gold
by animefreak469
Summary: Sent forcibly by Tsunade, Naruto must accompany Kiba and Shino on a Treasure hunting mission.And with not even the law of physics applying anymore, what randmoness shall occur. Wait, DID KIBA JUST GROW A BEAR CLAW! Random One-shot. Based off of a dream.


**I don't own Naruto or anything else mentioned in this fic.**

**Like I said before, this is based off of a dream so pardon my randomness. Hehehe (Sweatblob). Any who, ON WITH THE STORY!!!**

(Naruto's Pov)

"AHHHH!!!" I screamed, our little row boat about 4 second's from becoming wood chips (A/N: mmmm…chips lol) 'How did it come to this!'

(3 Hours earlier…)

"Naruto, I'm sending you on a mission with Shino and Kiba, go get the treasure chest from Orochimaru's castle and bring it back here!"

"EH!" I screamed at Tsunade-baa-chan. After all today was the day of the potato eating contest! (XD). "Why can't Kiba and Shino go on the mission with Hinata!"

"Because, you're the main character!"

"That doesn't make any sense!"

"It doesn't have to, I'm the Hokage and I say go!"

(Present)

'THAT DIDN'T EXPLAIN THE CURRENT SITUATION AT ALL!!' I thought to myself. But now wasn't the time I had to figure out a way to- wait, DID KIBA'S HAND JUST TURN INTO A GIANT BEAR CLAW?!?! [A/N: SENRI!!!! (Glomps Kiba)]. And though I couldn't believe it, it was true. Kiba's newly formed paw was pushing us away from the giant waterfall, and to the safety of the shore. "Thanks' Kiba, you saved us all!"

But Kiba just gave me thumbs up in response. I sweat blobbed. 'Has Kiba been hanging around Gai and Lee recently…?' I shook the thought out of my head "So, Shino, which way to the castle." I asked, Shino being the keeper of the map.

"Oh so you've decided to talk to me again?"

"Uh…what?" I replied, utterly confused at Shino's response.

"Baka!" And that was when Shino bitch-slapped me. Okay, NOW I was seriously confused. WHAT'S WRONG WITH EVERYONE TODAY!?!?

"Just give me the map!" I yelled, snatching the map out of Shino's hands. Though I wasn't shocked to find instead of a map, a drawing of a cat. Again, I sweat blobbed. "Great" I said sarcastically.

"Give me back kitty, you cat-napper!" Shino screamed, snatching the map back. A sweat blob appeared once again on the back of my head.

I sighed. "Which way do you suggest we go?" I asked Kiba, because he currently seemed more sane then Shino. But once again, Kiba just replied with the nice-guy pose. "Okay then, we'll go east!" I said, leading my two crazy comrades in said direction.

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Okay, I know this shouldn't have surprised me. I mean with Kiba turning into Rock Lee and Shino into a PMS'ing girl and all. But hey, if you saw Orochimaru dressed from head to toe in ice cream and a candy castle behind him, wouldn't you be shocked too?

"Welcome!" Orochimaru said happily, a creepy smile lining his face.

I know you're going to think 'IS HE A BAKA!!' by what I say next, but since everything is upside down today, hey, why not give it a shot. "So, Orochimaru, can we have your treasure chest?" I asked straight-forward.

"Why certainly" Orochimaru said happily, as if he was a kind old lady who gives free presents to the kids in her neighborhood. "It's in the last door down the pony hall." Orochimaru said putting his hand to his side as a welcoming jester.

"Um…thanks." I said, mentally disturbed by this new kind and happy new Orochimaru. And so, Shino, Kiba and I walked into the rainbow candy palace.

Though the inside of the castle was the exact opposite of the outside. It looked like one of those creepy houses from a horror film, complete with cobwebs, creaky floorboards, and pictures whose eyes follow you. That same blob of sweatiness appeared in my blonde hair. I searched for any sign of the pony hallway, and sure enough, as I looked west, I saw a light in a sea of darkness. A colorful flower shaped sign that read 'Pony Hall' was place neatly on the dark wall. I smiled and motioned for Kiba and Shino to follow me down the hallway.

"Let's see… the last door down Pony Hall…this is it." I said, stopping before an eerie looking black painted door. I slowly turned the rusty old door knob and the door creaked open.

I was greeted with the most inhuman sight your mind could possibly fathom.

Sasuke was lying in a very sexy position on a blood red heart-shaped bed. He was only dressed in a red bra and panties. "Oh Naruto-ku-" I shut the door immediately; and just stood there, completely frozen to the floor. Kiba was giving the door the nice guy pose, and I didn't know what sick, disturbing thoughts were forming in my insane friend's mind right now and personally, I didn't want to find out.

"Oops, must have been second to last door, sorry!" I whipped around to see Orochimaru blushing and smiling innocently.

"W-when did you…HOW did you…" But he vanished into thin air. "Oooooooookay then…" I said, deciding to ignore the physically impossible disappearance I had just viewed. I turned behind me and opened the new looking white painted door.

The room looked like they had taken some little girl's imagination and stuck it into a large open space. It was about the size of a football field, but instead of end zones and field goals, there were unicorns and rainbows. Yes, REAL UNICORNS, which made me twitch in disbelief. But as I looked toward the center of the room I noticed a large, pink object…it was the treasure chest! I zoomed as fast as I could to meet the thing I had almost gone insane and died for. I smiled as I gazed at its golden outlining.

But then I noticed a very important detail. The chest was unlocked. I bit my lip as sweat started trickling down both sides of my face I quickly looked right, seeing Kiba and Shino, Kiba once again showing off his thumb and Shino not bothering to spare me a glance. Then I looked left and saw _London Tipton_ from _The Suite Life of Zack and Cody _looking at me eagerly.'Well, I guess one peek wouldn't hurt…' I thought to myself. Very slowly, I grabbed onto the shimmering golden handle and slowly opened the chest.

Of course I knew their couldn't of possibly been anything valuable in the chest considering all I had gone through today, but I honestly didn't expect the chest to be filled top to bottom with TOYS! My right eyebrow kept twitching up and down, and I just couldn't stop it.

"MINE!!!" London screamed, taking out a huge 6-foot purse out of nowhere and started filling it to the brim with _Polly Pockets_ and miniature race cars. As I looked to my left, I noticed Kiba and Shino doing the same, only instead of using purses, they took all of their necessary supplies out of their back packs and filling the now empty packs with toys.

And I can't say I wasn't shocked when Hinata came out from behind one of the unicorns, and chopped my head clean off.

**Me: So that's just a normal day inside one of my dreams. And this is one of those fics where I can say "Bet you didn't see THAT coming!" every 5 seconds. Lol. So anyway, hope you enjoyed and review if you like.**

**Hinata: Reviewwww… (Hold's up Kunai in a threatening way)**

**Me: (Sweat Blob)**


End file.
